Speaking easy...

We communicate with an ease that allows us to say things and move along doing the same things we have apologized for. It's not an intentional disregard, it's just what we've been trained to do. If you feel like you've wronged someone in some way, you apologize. Right? Not necessarily. What good is an apology if you're only going through the motions. We would never intentionally say something we didn't mean just for the sake of saying it, but we unknowingly have reached a level of lacking. We lack sincerity. I was told that I shouldn't say anything I don't mean, so I try not to. When I do, I will acknowledge it, correct myself and move on. Some people get into the habit of apologizing, for whatever reason, and doing nothing to correct whatever it is they are apologizing for. Definitely a pet peeve of mine.

I have been extremely busy at times. Times when I feel like things are so hectic, I forget to eat, time flies and I forget. I don't ever manage to forget about people though. You're relationships with the people in your life are of the highest value. Sure there are people that you just don't care to talk to and that is alright. At least in those situations, you have some personal reason for not communicating with someone. There are others that will simply say "I'm sorry, I've just been busy." This excuse for addressing they're lack of attention to communicate is often shallow and meaningless. After all, people get busy, that's nothing new. It doesn't explain why you're not equally as busy for everyone else you're not too busy for. In some funny way it's almost as if the apology is a buffer for a future apology, a warning that you have been acknowledged and nothing is going to change.

This isn't meant to be any sort of negative rant. I just had a moment thinking about the relationships and friendships I've been involved. Times that it seemed like there was no relationship or friendship to even be spoken of. Then I tried to look back and think if I had ever made someone feel like they were not important when they were making an active effort to communicate with me. I then thought about times that I've been the friend and how odd it makes you feel to know that someone is avoiding you, sometimes for no reason at all except that they just "busy." I'm going to make a better effort to communicate with the people in my life and acknowledge that they are there. People in my mind, don't want anything more than to feel like they matter. The next time you realize you've been putting someone off, or neglecting a friendship, don't just speak easy. Saying you're sorry and continuing to do what you're apologizing for to begin with only enforces the notion that you care even less than you admit. Find a friend, someone making an effort to be a part of your life and make them feel like they matter, because they did before...and probably will again.