The fog has rolled in. It's been here for days and days now. Slowing down traffic, hiding all the scenic beauties this state is known for and I think this is life. We run at full speed trying to be the fastest to get everywhere we are going, all of the time. Pass by me. Hit your blinker and take the next lane. Go a little faster to get to the same place we'll both be anyway, but feel good know that you weren't behind me on the way. You should follow me though, because I've thought this trip through and know not only where we're going, but why we're going.
Creativity is literally something we make. We will almost never be the first person to do anything, but we can do it in a style that makes it all our own. I want to bleed onto paper. Thoughts and ideas will drip, drip down onto the tablet. Pushing sliding and phrasing these truths, these little pieces that make the situation real. That is making things happen. I can draw a picture to save my life. I can take a camera and in my novice fashion, click click images of landscapes and moments in time. I can make those things happen, because they are there. OR...I could create something that never was. Give all the details, the sounds, the feelings and as you close eyes, draw a picture with my words that could make you....make you smile, or cry give you goose bumps on your neck, make you feel whatever I want you to feel because in all of this the one thing we should be doing, is feeling. A song, a poem, a quote, or a film moment. These all give you those instances where you can't move you may smile because you know something good has happened, but you don't know why. These are the things I want to do to you.
I don't know where I'm going with this. And that's so much fun.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Giving things time...
I got a really good piece of advice from a girl that I'm happy to call a friend. I'm not sure if using names is appropriate, but she told me that I should "put a little more of myself into my writing." She didn't mean to lay all of my business out there, just that if I explained how I came to my thoughts and conclusions, it would help people connect with me and connect a little better. (I know this is was a run on sentence, but it's my blog and it felt good) This is some of the best insight that I've gotten on the actual content of the blog (btw thank you for the few words of encouragement I have received.) so naturally, I took a break. I figured right now is a good a time as any to give it a crack.
I was having a conversation someone I'll just call "a friend". Regardless of who I'm talking about these persons will always be given that simple description unless I feel it's necessary. I've taken a lot from this person over the length of time that I've known her. One of the most important thing she's taught me is that I should be patient. She has never vocalized this, but she leads by example. She's never in a rush to do anything except get her work done, takes things day by day and generally is accepting of what comes her way. I recognized this in her from the beginning of our friendship and have tried to follow suit.
If there is one thing that I'm good at, it's brainstorming. This is a gift in that it's helped me work through so many problems for myself and for others, and a curse in that its never ending. I couldn't turn my mind off if I tried at times. Recently, I was talking to this friend and finally noticed something she is always indirectly pointing out, that I always seem to be in a rush nothing can ever happen soon enough when we talk. I'm always rushing through things like I'm trying to make other things happen sooner and in some in our conversation it finally clicked. If I'm always looking to the next thing, how can I enjoy right now? Even if the thing I'm looking forward to is the next thing, if I'm not patient about it, it isn't going to make it happen any sooner. So in an instance where I'm typically saying "when?" I was finally at a place where I knew it was going to happen, so I should be happy knowing that...and if it doesn't happen as soon as want, or at all for that matter, there's plenty of life still going on. I'm not really sure if I did a very good job of filling in the spaces with that post, but these are my thoughts...just give me some time to fine tune.
I was having a conversation someone I'll just call "a friend". Regardless of who I'm talking about these persons will always be given that simple description unless I feel it's necessary. I've taken a lot from this person over the length of time that I've known her. One of the most important thing she's taught me is that I should be patient. She has never vocalized this, but she leads by example. She's never in a rush to do anything except get her work done, takes things day by day and generally is accepting of what comes her way. I recognized this in her from the beginning of our friendship and have tried to follow suit.
If there is one thing that I'm good at, it's brainstorming. This is a gift in that it's helped me work through so many problems for myself and for others, and a curse in that its never ending. I couldn't turn my mind off if I tried at times. Recently, I was talking to this friend and finally noticed something she is always indirectly pointing out, that I always seem to be in a rush nothing can ever happen soon enough when we talk. I'm always rushing through things like I'm trying to make other things happen sooner and in some in our conversation it finally clicked. If I'm always looking to the next thing, how can I enjoy right now? Even if the thing I'm looking forward to is the next thing, if I'm not patient about it, it isn't going to make it happen any sooner. So in an instance where I'm typically saying "when?" I was finally at a place where I knew it was going to happen, so I should be happy knowing that...and if it doesn't happen as soon as want, or at all for that matter, there's plenty of life still going on. I'm not really sure if I did a very good job of filling in the spaces with that post, but these are my thoughts...just give me some time to fine tune.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Expectations...
I can't speak for everyone on this, but it seems that the only thing we hold higher than the expectations of others, is the expectations we place on ourselves. At least that's the way it should be. I find myself more and more lately, trying to model my life choices based on happiness. When I say happiness, I don't just mean my happiness, but the happiness of others as well. I see the people I consider myself genuinely lucky to know, even if only vaguely and wanting to be more like them. The lovers of life, of adventure and of giving, are my role models. Anyone can be one of these people. It doesn't matter if they are younger or older, share similar interests, or even realize that are making an impact. I see these people living their lives doing things that are completely ordinary to them, part of their everyday existence. I see these people and know I want to do better.
The idea of molding myself into a better me, lead me to two different thoughts. The first thought was that it's impossible to model myself after everyone I value. How would you even do that? The only thing that comes to mind is to find what makes the people you hold highest stand out to you. In my case it would be happiness and love. These qualities seem to be reoccurring themes in many of my thoughts lately, but only because they are so strong and steadfast in the lives of those I value. My role models love as unconditionally as they know how and find the happiness in most any situation. There are no specific activities or secrets to how they are such great people, they're just doing them...passing on that special thing to others. I will try my best to do the same and I hope that you as a reader can recognize this in others and follow suit.
My second thought was "How do I set a standard and stick to it?". How do I make sure that I can strive to achieve the level of love that these people show and know I'm doing well enough? The answer to this question is easy. I can't. There's is no way to measure the amount of love that you give to any one person or to the world. You cannot say I've shared "x" amount of happiness today and have reached my daily quota. You simply do these things as often as possible for any, or no reason at all. There is no standard for happiness, or for love. Just do the things that you know are right, give back to the world and no one can tell you whether you have or haven't done enough. If you can be that person, the world will come to you. If you're lucky, you will be able to keep the ones you hold closest until forever...happy and loving.
The idea of molding myself into a better me, lead me to two different thoughts. The first thought was that it's impossible to model myself after everyone I value. How would you even do that? The only thing that comes to mind is to find what makes the people you hold highest stand out to you. In my case it would be happiness and love. These qualities seem to be reoccurring themes in many of my thoughts lately, but only because they are so strong and steadfast in the lives of those I value. My role models love as unconditionally as they know how and find the happiness in most any situation. There are no specific activities or secrets to how they are such great people, they're just doing them...passing on that special thing to others. I will try my best to do the same and I hope that you as a reader can recognize this in others and follow suit.
My second thought was "How do I set a standard and stick to it?". How do I make sure that I can strive to achieve the level of love that these people show and know I'm doing well enough? The answer to this question is easy. I can't. There's is no way to measure the amount of love that you give to any one person or to the world. You cannot say I've shared "x" amount of happiness today and have reached my daily quota. You simply do these things as often as possible for any, or no reason at all. There is no standard for happiness, or for love. Just do the things that you know are right, give back to the world and no one can tell you whether you have or haven't done enough. If you can be that person, the world will come to you. If you're lucky, you will be able to keep the ones you hold closest until forever...happy and loving.
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Speaking easy...
We communicate with an ease that allows us to say things and move along doing the same things we have apologized for. It's not an intentional disregard, it's just what we've been trained to do. If you feel like you've wronged someone in some way, you apologize. Right? Not necessarily. What good is an apology if you're only going through the motions. We would never intentionally say something we didn't mean just for the sake of saying it, but we unknowingly have reached a level of lacking. We lack sincerity. I was told that I shouldn't say anything I don't mean, so I try not to. When I do, I will acknowledge it, correct myself and move on. Some people get into the habit of apologizing, for whatever reason, and doing nothing to correct whatever it is they are apologizing for. Definitely a pet peeve of mine.
I have been extremely busy at times. Times when I feel like things are so hectic, I forget to eat, time flies and I forget. I don't ever manage to forget about people though. You're relationships with the people in your life are of the highest value. Sure there are people that you just don't care to talk to and that is alright. At least in those situations, you have some personal reason for not communicating with someone. There are others that will simply say "I'm sorry, I've just been busy." This excuse for addressing they're lack of attention to communicate is often shallow and meaningless. After all, people get busy, that's nothing new. It doesn't explain why you're not equally as busy for everyone else you're not too busy for. In some funny way it's almost as if the apology is a buffer for a future apology, a warning that you have been acknowledged and nothing is going to change.
This isn't meant to be any sort of negative rant. I just had a moment thinking about the relationships and friendships I've been involved. Times that it seemed like there was no relationship or friendship to even be spoken of. Then I tried to look back and think if I had ever made someone feel like they were not important when they were making an active effort to communicate with me. I then thought about times that I've been the friend and how odd it makes you feel to know that someone is avoiding you, sometimes for no reason at all except that they just "busy." I'm going to make a better effort to communicate with the people in my life and acknowledge that they are there. People in my mind, don't want anything more than to feel like they matter. The next time you realize you've been putting someone off, or neglecting a friendship, don't just speak easy. Saying you're sorry and continuing to do what you're apologizing for to begin with only enforces the notion that you care even less than you admit. Find a friend, someone making an effort to be a part of your life and make them feel like they matter, because they did before...and probably will again.
I have been extremely busy at times. Times when I feel like things are so hectic, I forget to eat, time flies and I forget. I don't ever manage to forget about people though. You're relationships with the people in your life are of the highest value. Sure there are people that you just don't care to talk to and that is alright. At least in those situations, you have some personal reason for not communicating with someone. There are others that will simply say "I'm sorry, I've just been busy." This excuse for addressing they're lack of attention to communicate is often shallow and meaningless. After all, people get busy, that's nothing new. It doesn't explain why you're not equally as busy for everyone else you're not too busy for. In some funny way it's almost as if the apology is a buffer for a future apology, a warning that you have been acknowledged and nothing is going to change.
This isn't meant to be any sort of negative rant. I just had a moment thinking about the relationships and friendships I've been involved. Times that it seemed like there was no relationship or friendship to even be spoken of. Then I tried to look back and think if I had ever made someone feel like they were not important when they were making an active effort to communicate with me. I then thought about times that I've been the friend and how odd it makes you feel to know that someone is avoiding you, sometimes for no reason at all except that they just "busy." I'm going to make a better effort to communicate with the people in my life and acknowledge that they are there. People in my mind, don't want anything more than to feel like they matter. The next time you realize you've been putting someone off, or neglecting a friendship, don't just speak easy. Saying you're sorry and continuing to do what you're apologizing for to begin with only enforces the notion that you care even less than you admit. Find a friend, someone making an effort to be a part of your life and make them feel like they matter, because they did before...and probably will again.
Friday, January 4, 2013
Reflecting...
This is something I wrote six years ago when I made my first attempt at blogging. It's funny that even in just a few short years you can look back and think "I was so young then." You grow as a person everyday. A little older and a little more wise, reflecting on times passed:
It happens too often that driving down the street, looking at a picture or listening to a song, at times for a brief moment I feel completely empty. The crazy thing is that for as sad as I am for that little bit of time, the meaning is good. To know that I need friendships, need love, and need happiness. When you don't have those things you are completely isolated and alone, but when you do have them, those brief moments of emptiness make you appreciate the good times so much more.
We are all heart broken. We all fear that life won't turn out the way want it to. We all long for the things we can't have, and don't want the things we do have. I suppose it's just human nature to be neglectful, regretful, and selfish. We spend our days passing by each other with deceiving smiles. We put people down without giving the chance to really know them. We tell people we love them just as easily as we can tell them we hate them. And even though we would like to say we do, we really don't appreciate the good people in our lives.
This is random I know and doesn't make sense to some of you, but if you understand, think about this. From time to time I think about things that you probably wouldn't think I could or would. It's not always necessary to share things with people, but in this case I think it should be because even though I understand I may not always live my life the right way, I understand where I am going and eventually I will get there. I hope you someday too understand.
After you've read this, listen to this song. Don't ask me why but this song is the reason I wrote this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3Nnrj6i9Vk
It happens too often that driving down the street, looking at a picture or listening to a song, at times for a brief moment I feel completely empty. The crazy thing is that for as sad as I am for that little bit of time, the meaning is good. To know that I need friendships, need love, and need happiness. When you don't have those things you are completely isolated and alone, but when you do have them, those brief moments of emptiness make you appreciate the good times so much more.
We are all heart broken. We all fear that life won't turn out the way want it to. We all long for the things we can't have, and don't want the things we do have. I suppose it's just human nature to be neglectful, regretful, and selfish. We spend our days passing by each other with deceiving smiles. We put people down without giving the chance to really know them. We tell people we love them just as easily as we can tell them we hate them. And even though we would like to say we do, we really don't appreciate the good people in our lives.
This is random I know and doesn't make sense to some of you, but if you understand, think about this. From time to time I think about things that you probably wouldn't think I could or would. It's not always necessary to share things with people, but in this case I think it should be because even though I understand I may not always live my life the right way, I understand where I am going and eventually I will get there. I hope you someday too understand.
After you've read this, listen to this song. Don't ask me why but this song is the reason I wrote this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3Nnrj6i9Vk
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
A little help...
Today a man approached me in the parking lot at the grocery store. He gave me a sob story about how he was out here looking for jobs and got stranded with his daughter. I was gonna blow him off until I noticed his daughter only had a shirt and a blanket. He was trying to get gas to drive back to Spanaway...go figure. I told him I had some things to do but if I came out and he was there, I'd give him a couple dollars. I finished up my shopping and headed outside, but didn't see the guy anywhere. As I was pulling out, I noticed him across the lot and drove over to him. When I rolled down my window and realized it was me, he had the most genuine look of relief I've seen in a long time. He walked over and thanked me as his daughter is literally screaming "yay!". I told him it wasn't much and replied that it didn't even matter, it was appreciated. Sometimes people really do just need a "little" help.
You can't always take things at face value, even though instinctually, it feels like the right thing to do. Sometimes, you just need to have a little faith in people. I'd rather assume everyone has good in them and wait for them to prove me wrong, than to assume that everyone is out for self. Keeping hold of that mind is a slow and difficult transition, but I keep pushing forward. You have to give a little love to someone for them to realize than good things can happen for them. In a world of self gratifiers, what better way to get a little boost of confidence than to do something good for someone. Sure it's vain, all good deeds are in some way, but there are much, much worse ways to feed our egos. I'll take productive vanity over any other kind. Make someone happy and in turn, make yourself happy too.
None of us are going to change the world, but we can change someone's world for a day.
You can't always take things at face value, even though instinctually, it feels like the right thing to do. Sometimes, you just need to have a little faith in people. I'd rather assume everyone has good in them and wait for them to prove me wrong, than to assume that everyone is out for self. Keeping hold of that mind is a slow and difficult transition, but I keep pushing forward. You have to give a little love to someone for them to realize than good things can happen for them. In a world of self gratifiers, what better way to get a little boost of confidence than to do something good for someone. Sure it's vain, all good deeds are in some way, but there are much, much worse ways to feed our egos. I'll take productive vanity over any other kind. Make someone happy and in turn, make yourself happy too.
None of us are going to change the world, but we can change someone's world for a day.
Dealing...
So, I from time to time get the pleasure of playing therapist with many of my friends. Not to say that I'm doing anything special. People that are going through things will talk to anyone willing to listen, it's just how people are. I do hope that on some level I do a better job at listening and helping with productive than anyone else. It's just the person I strive to be, if I should strive to be anything. You'd be amazed at how sometimes just listening to someone talk, no matter how long it takes or what is said, can help a person work through their problems without saying a word. Other times, it takes a definite skill to be objective and give feed back that is in the person's best interest. Helpful feed back, be good or bad, isn't always easy to come by. My gift? Maybe. Maybe not.
In the last two weeks I've shared time with various friends and family, talked about things and analyzed life situations. In every one of those situations I came up with this same general thought: "You can only sweep so much dirt under the rug for so long. Eventually, the rug will start blocking the door." What I mean by that is that we all have problems. In many ways our problems are different individually, but the same on a greater scale. You've never been through something in life that someone else hasn't already experienced. You're not special, not in that right. When we have problems that effect other areas of our lives, they are not worth putting off. There is no reason you shouldn't do today, what can be done today. You never know how passing on the opportunity to rectify something can snowball into other areas, creating chaos...unnecessary chaos. When one part of your life is out of whack, take a step back and look at everyone going on in your life. It could seem like you have fifty problems all going on at once, but if you look closely, it might just be one problem seething it's way into other areas.
If you see a problem, make it better...otherwise, nothing else will be better as a result. Happy New Year.
In the last two weeks I've shared time with various friends and family, talked about things and analyzed life situations. In every one of those situations I came up with this same general thought: "You can only sweep so much dirt under the rug for so long. Eventually, the rug will start blocking the door." What I mean by that is that we all have problems. In many ways our problems are different individually, but the same on a greater scale. You've never been through something in life that someone else hasn't already experienced. You're not special, not in that right. When we have problems that effect other areas of our lives, they are not worth putting off. There is no reason you shouldn't do today, what can be done today. You never know how passing on the opportunity to rectify something can snowball into other areas, creating chaos...unnecessary chaos. When one part of your life is out of whack, take a step back and look at everyone going on in your life. It could seem like you have fifty problems all going on at once, but if you look closely, it might just be one problem seething it's way into other areas.
If you see a problem, make it better...otherwise, nothing else will be better as a result. Happy New Year.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)