Working out the negativity ("aka" the friend rant...)

That's when the gun went off and she realized that is was her...

I'm kidding. When you watch a good movie though, it grabs your attention with action from the opening credits. So I figured I'd give it a shot. Did it work? I'm taking a different spin on the blog today, reverting back to a time in my younger years. I was pretty notorious for playing captain call out in my youth. The moment I saw someone saying or doing something I didn't deem acceptable, I would immediately call them out. For some reason, I thought very highly of my own personal moral compass...figured my honesty was just a little higher or more noteworthy than others. I only thought this way because I knew inside that I was broken. I judged myself on everything I did, everything I thought. I judged myself so often that I couldn't help but judge others, because it had become my habit.

It's taken me a long time to work through my demons and realize that I can be better. Some things in your life, you'll never be able to really fix. If you can figure out a way to think differently about the things you deem problematic, you may realize they were never problems at all, maybe it was all in your head. That being said, in my trying to be a better friend and a bigger person than I once was, I've noticed that I still can't get passed some of the thoughts I used to have. I've learned to think a different way about things, to let things go, but the longer it goes on and more frequently I see it happening...the more the steam builds. Even the best of us need some sort of release, a way to let the negativity go so that we can reset, focus on getting back to the good.

So, this is how I chose to work out my frustrations with people. It's a wide variety of different "types" of people I've noticed more often. These titles apply to more than one person or group, so if you think it's you, it probably is. I just want to make it clear that I'm not writing this entry about one particular person. I also want to express that I know I'm not perfect. I'm lucky enough to have amazing friends and family. I am in no way implying I'm better than anyone and I for sure have faults, but this isn't about that. Actually, I expect that some people will be able to relate. On some level, it may be entertaining for others, whatever. Read away.

The are titles. Some will have explanations, others will be self explanatory:

The humorist: Goes along with a situation to make you feel good about it. They won't tell you how they really feel, because they're too nice...or they're lying.

The hanger-outer: Is always putting out offers to spend time with you that they never plan on following through with.

The "yes" man/girl: Similar to the hanger outer, this person is notorious for always agreeing to tentative plans without any real intent of seeing them through. You can feel these people out by proposing "real" plans. Ask them to hang with specific details in mind and they'll typically come clean about their intent, otherwise...they'll just keep agreeing to tentative plans and never follow through.

The insincere apologizer: This is pretty self explanatory. The insincere apologizer is usually a repeat offender. Use the baseball rule when you come across these types. Three strikes and you're out.

The absent friend: The absent friend is one who never seems to be around, but is always around. They can also and often be seen in the insincere apologizer combo "sorry I've been so busy seeking out other friendships, but I haven't forgotten about ours...this message is proof." Then they're gone again. I think these friends don't really that the drop in message is actually the slap in the face.

The public couple: I need to voice that there are MANY of these couples in my social circles so don't get defensive. This is the couple that has more relationship problems than a doctoral thesis behind closed doors and advertises to the world publicly that their relationship is amazing.  Everybody knows relationships aren't perfect, so does trying to convince the world yours is help?

The illusionist friend: Remember that saying that you are who your friends are?...or least people will think you are who your friends are?  Well, the same thing applies to your extracurriculars. If you're always at a club or in a bar (girls), guys are not going to believe you're really a good girl that would rather spend nights at home on the couch. Seeing is believing.

The peter pan friend: This is the friend that refuses to grow up for whatever reason and is doing the exact same stuff they were doing a decade ago. They actively seek out the same hobbies, routines and sometimes drama that was acceptable in their youth. They generally have the best intentions at heart, but they're so wrapped up in their own ways that they don't realize they've never grown up.

The boomerang friend: This friend is a special breed. When they're around, you couldn't shake them if you tried. This isn't even a bad thing, they're actually a pretty good friend...until they don't need your support, then you won't hear from them for months, maybe longer. You know they'll come back, you're just never exactly sure when...or why.

The best-friender: The best friender is so busy being everyone's "best friend" that they don't actually have a best friend. Sometimes you wonder about these people...are they more interested in their friendships, or their image?

I'd keep going, but I'm hungry.